a photo essay…

i’ve probably spent entire days, weeks, maybe even months of my life waiting for the MAX light rail train, going to and from work at my old job out in gresham, visiting friends, or just exploring the city of portland in general. while many times i’ve had a camera with me, very rarely [despite what you see here] do i take pictures of my fellow travelers as i wait, probably because i always hated having my picture taken without giving my consent… nonetheless, i do manage to snap some every once in a while.

the above photo and the ones to follow were all taken just over three years ago now, in the first weeks of owning my then-new camera, the nikon SQ, a tiny, approximately 2.5″ rounded square of a camera that was easily concealed in the palm of my hand or a coat pocket. this made it extremely easy to snap pictures without anyone noticing, giving the picture taking process the feel of a spy operation.

on this particular occasion, i remember playing with the camera pretending i was working with a cell phone or other non-intrusive device while plenty of people walked by in front of me through the busy transit station. for a couple minutes, my view was obstructed by an old haggard woman in red who kept walking back and forth in front of me, as if she was trying to get into the picture, when finally i moved and as if by accident got a clear picture – this one.

i always loved how this turned out… the blurred exposure of the woman facing me yet not seeming to realize her image has been captured… the clear profile of the young hispanic man looking statuesque, perhaps even subconsciously aware of the camera… and the brick sidewalks, the old-town architecture feel of the bakery building in the background… this image is the portland i know – the muted beauty, stoic faces, the presently unaware…

…much like the photo above. a young man in the food court at pioneer place not too unlike myself at the time – alone, self-involved, eating. this image also captures but a fraction of why i often enjoy visiting that food court. the shiny surfaces, unique curves in the architecture, the way that light often dances and reflects bringing joy to the eye even if we don’t acknowledge it.

another great example as well of the ease in which i could quickly snap pictures without anyone noticing. a small camera of that size on the table in front of me wouldn’t even be noticed from afar, sitting among cup, plate, napkins, utensils, etc… i didn’t even need to hide it…

…although this time i got noticed. about a half second after taking the picture above, i was noticed by the waiter in the middle, and a quiet word was spoken to the others and they all dispersed and i put my camera away.

this image was taken in a denny’s restaurant toward the middle of the day, during the months following my on-the-job back injury which prompted months and months of doctors visits and physical therapy sessions. in those months, i often had a strange schedule, with checkups and therapy a few times a week in the mornings, then work in the evenings, i’d end up with free time to kill in the middle hours, and on this day, i wanted a rich, heart-stopping breakfast as denny’s is known to serve.

i love the feelings this image captures… the memory of that time for me coincides with the look of the image – that of the home-town american diner… the working-class staff, taking a moment to share a joke and a slight smile, never forgetting in the back of their minds where they are and what is to be done.

the photo above i’d have to say is the best image i’ve ever seen that captures that sense of hopelessness and futility i feel inside any hospital or doctor’s office. that sense that the person you are entrusting your health to is someone who ultimately can’t do much to help. that feeling of despair, knowing you’re left to wait in a depressing, empty hallway with your pain until someone much busier and more important than you can be bothered to even take a look at you.

such was the case here, as i sat waiting for a bone scan to be done of my back in the radiology department of emmanuel hospital. this image of an important medical professional with his back turned, in hasty transit to some unknown corner of the building, while i wait alone, is a perfect metaphor for that experience.

in the end, they found nothing wrong in the bone scan, and my doctor scratched his head and one more thing off his list of things he knew to do to diagnose chronic back pain, and he wrote me even more prescriptions for painkillers that did little to nothing to fix the problem… and for the hours spent there that day, this image would become the only thing worth the trip.

finally… pioneer square, for those who don’t live in portland, is often referred to as “portland’s living room”, a place we go to meet friends, grab a coffee or a bite to eat, take a minute to relax in our cross-town commute, and ultimately take in all the splendor of an… all-brick living room. yes, it’s a one city block amphitheatre composed of at least 90% brick, including one starbucks outlet, some free-standing food carts and sub-level visitor information outlets.

but as cold and hard and visually less-than-stunning as that much red brick can be, portlanders still gather here for music, rallies, and other occasional events or even just to check email via the free wifi hotspot. if you had been through the entire rest of the portland area before coming here, i imagine it would be the last thing you’d expect of our city’s “living room” as it encompasses very little of what makes the rest of the city great – the greenery, the rivers, and the amazing diversity of people, wildlife, and terrain. no, in our living room we have bricks and a starbucks and a big signpost showing how far it is to anywhere that isn’t here.

nonetheless, possibly the best thing that makes portland great is its people – the strange and the civilized, the hopeful and the profane. here people gather to watch late night movies in the summer, and our elders come for the annual senior’s prom. here we transfer from the bus to the max, or we meet up before proceeding to downtown’s many unique shops and restaurants. here the young and the old will congregate, share a story, listen to a street musician, enjoy a bit of sunshine in between the buildings that tower around.

a city, a paradox, a home… this is portland – the great, and the greatly absurd.

-aytch