stephen h

my snapple tea bottle cap is telling me that during the middle ages, chicken noodle soup was widely considered to be an aphrodisiac.

this didn’t make any sense to me, unless you consider their public health probably wasn’t as good back then. so, hypothetically, if i had a lot of sick women about, i could probably make them a lot fonder of me by providing them with some chicken noodle soup to lessen their suffering.

then i started thinking… what if this was still a myth in the modern world? how would this affect popular culture?

i’m sure love songs would be a lot soupier. rap songs in particular would be more interesting, hearing gangstas rap about attracting “bitches” with their exclusive soup recipe.

movies would be rated on how steamy their soup scenes are. elaine on seinfeld would rate guys on how “soup-worthy” they are. in the low-brow sophomoric humor flicks, guys would joke about sick women as being “aching for it”. women’s romance novels would describe soup-making sessions in hot details, like “as his strong hands stirred the soup, she couldn’t help but notice – his soup had more noodles than she had ever seen in a soup before…”

and so on.

-h

Tags: fun facts, humor, snapple, stephen h, Writings

so here’s the deal… well over a week later, still no word from lexus. we know they’re aware, but it looks like they’re still trying to get away with using the h as long as they can without ponying up for it.

one thing’s for sure: i’ve not seen their power of h commercials on tv lately, which leads me to believe that [A]they stopped running them for fear of litigation, or [B]they just started running them on alternate networks i’m not likely to watch. probably like the golf channel or oxygen or faux news.

regardless, the call is now open to any makers of hybrid vehicles! so, automakers, give me a car, and i’ll promote the heck out of it for you. i know GM and Honda are starting to put out some quality hybrid/electric vehicles. Honda even starts with an h, so that’s like a match made in heaven right there… just think of it… blogging, pictures, videos, websites, and so on. the opportunities are limitless.

get in touch via the email address below.

-s h

note: stephen the h is not affiliated with the lexus company or any other automaker… yet. lexus is a registered trademark. this page contains content intended for your entertainment only and is not to be considered an actual slander against lexus, who for all i know makes really exceptional motor vehicles and really ought to give me one for all this hype i’m giving them.

Tags: humor, lexus, Links, the power of h, Thoughts

over 24 hours later, lexus is still using the h without payment of royalty or compensation to yours truly. this, my friends, is simply unacceptable.

yes, their thepowerofh.com website features a snappy animation of a bunch of little “h”s raining down into one big giant bold “h”, and then shows the phrase “h is the power of change”[which, ok, it is. i mean, we've all seen it.] but REALLY… how can we take them seriously if they’re using my name to promote their cars? i mean, without compensating me for it.

also, what’s the deal with their “living” option on a website that promotes hybrid power? are any of us really powering our homes with lexus internal combustion engines to the extent that we need to convert our power sources to include more electronic options? my friends, i submit to you that that DOES NOT EVEN MAKE SENSE.

so it’s obvious they not only are using my name, but messing it up royally. i think it is time we told these lexites [i think that's what they go by] that it’s time they brought me on board to straighten this mess out for them. just think of it… how cool would it be if your favorite[i'm assuming] independent artist teamed up with a leading luxury auto manufacturer to help promote more environmentally responsible vehicles? all they would have to do is give or at least loan me a car to drive around the country, show off to potential customers, take action pictures and videos with friends and family members and show off all of its super cool and luxurious features, even blog and design a custom website that makes sense for people online to be able to read about and see how awesome it would be to own a new lexus hybrid.

but no, they choose to mess around with obviously inferior and plagiarized marketing, so now it is up to us to show them the error of their ways. even after someone from inside their company [using an outdated microsoft browser, no less] visited my site thursday, still i have not been contacted to help them out.

as before, use the ShareThis link below to spread the word or email this page to a friend, ESPECIALLY if that friend works for lexus or their parent company toyota. oh, and don’t forget to tell all your friends to bookmark the new domain, so that soon lexus will have to beholdthepowerofstephenh.com.

note: stephen the h is not affiliated with the lexus company… yet. lexus is a registered trademark. this page contains content intended for your entertainment only and is not to be considered an actual slander against lexus, who for all i know makes really exceptional motor vehicles and really ought to give me one for all this hype i’m giving them.

Tags: humor, lexus, Links, the power of h, Thoughts, toyota