my snapple tea bottle cap is telling me that during the middle ages, chicken noodle soup was widely considered to be an aphrodisiac.

this didn’t make any sense to me, unless you consider their public health probably wasn’t as good back then. so, hypothetically, if i had a lot of sick women about, i could probably make them a lot fonder of me by providing them with some chicken noodle soup to lessen their suffering.

then i started thinking… what if this was still a myth in the modern world? how would this affect popular culture?

i’m sure love songs would be a lot soupier. rap songs in particular would be more interesting, hearing gangstas rap about attracting “bitches” with their exclusive soup recipe.

movies would be rated on how steamy their soup scenes are. elaine on seinfeld would rate guys on how “soup-worthy” they are. in the low-brow sophomoric humor flicks, guys would joke about sick women as being “aching for it”. women’s romance novels would describe soup-making sessions in hot details, like “as his strong hands stirred the soup, she couldn’t help but notice - his soup had more noodles than she had ever seen in a soup before…”

and so on.

-h

Filed under: Writings by stephen h @ 12:22 am on April 10, 2008
TAGS: [fun facts | humor | snapple | stephen h | Writings]

so here’s the deal… well over a week later, still no word from lexus. we know they’re aware, but it looks like they’re still trying to get away with using the h as long as they can without ponying up for it.

one thing’s for sure: i’ve not seen their power of h commercials on tv lately, which leads me to believe that [A]they stopped running them for fear of litigation, or [B]they just started running them on alternate networks i’m not likely to watch. probably like the golf channel or oxygen or faux news.

regardless, the call is now open to any makers of hybrid vehicles! so, automakers, give me a car, and i’ll promote the heck out of it for you. i know GM and Honda are starting to put out some quality hybrid/electric vehicles. Honda even starts with an h, so that’s like a match made in heaven right there… just think of it… blogging, pictures, videos, websites, and so on. the opportunities are limitless.

get in touch via the email address below.

-s h

note: stephen the h is not affiliated with the lexus company or any other automaker… yet. lexus is a registered trademark. this page contains content intended for your entertainment only and is not to be considered an actual slander against lexus, who for all i know makes really exceptional motor vehicles and really ought to give me one for all this hype i’m giving them.

Filed under: Links by stephen h @ 12:17 pm on January 25, 2008
TAGS: [humor | lexus | Links | the power of h | Thoughts]

over 24 hours later, lexus is still using the h without payment of royalty or compensation to yours truly. this, my friends, is simply unacceptable.

yes, their thepowerofh.com website features a snappy animation of a bunch of little “h”s raining down into one big giant bold “h”, and then shows the phrase “h is the power of change”[which, ok, it is. i mean, we've all seen it.] but REALLY… how can we take them seriously if they’re using my name to promote their cars? i mean, without compensating me for it.

also, what’s the deal with their “living” option on a website that promotes hybrid power? are any of us really powering our homes with lexus internal combustion engines to the extent that we need to convert our power sources to include more electronic options? my friends, i submit to you that that DOES NOT EVEN MAKE SENSE.

so it’s obvious they not only are using my name, but messing it up royally. i think it is time we told these lexites [i think that's what they go by] that it’s time they brought me on board to straighten this mess out for them. just think of it… how cool would it be if your favorite[i'm assuming] independent artist teamed up with a leading luxury auto manufacturer to help promote more environmentally responsible vehicles? all they would have to do is give or at least loan me a car to drive around the country, show off to potential customers, take action pictures and videos with friends and family members and show off all of its super cool and luxurious features, even blog and design a custom website that makes sense for people online to be able to read about and see how awesome it would be to own a new lexus hybrid.

but no, they choose to mess around with obviously inferior and plagiarized marketing, so now it is up to us to show them the error of their ways. even after someone from inside their company [using an outdated microsoft browser, no less] visited my site thursday, still i have not been contacted to help them out.

as before, use the ShareThis link below to spread the word or email this page to a friend, ESPECIALLY if that friend works for lexus or their parent company toyota. oh, and don’t forget to tell all your friends to bookmark the new domain, so that soon lexus will have to beholdthepowerofstephenh.com.

note: stephen the h is not affiliated with the lexus company… yet. lexus is a registered trademark. this page contains content intended for your entertainment only and is not to be considered an actual slander against lexus, who for all i know makes really exceptional motor vehicles and really ought to give me one for all this hype i’m giving them.

Filed under: Links by stephen h @ 1:08 am on January 19, 2008
TAGS: [humor | lexus | Links | the power of h | Thoughts | toyota]

for those who missed my previous post from last night, the headline is correct. lexus has chosen to capitalize on the good name of yours truly with their current marketing campaign on television and online known as “the power of h”. currently they run commercials on tv with this slogan and run the website thepowerofh.com to further promote their corporate propaganda. clearly the marketing gurus at lexus are huge fans of yours truly the h, and thought they could get away with using the name without compensation or permission!

now, even though our country’s silly and outdated patent laws favor huge multi-national corporations by stating that you can’t own a letter, i am asking you to help fight back. lexus, their parent company toyota, and even corporate leaders worldwide have been exploiting us lowly artists for too long, and it is time for us to fight back as one! we must not allow them to trample even one more writer/photographer/musician/designer!!!

SO… if someone you know is working for either toyota or lexus, make sure you tell them to [A]stop using my name, or [B]give me a car and make me an honorary spokesman for their new line of luxury hybrid vehicles. if they’re going to use my name to promote their corporate agenda, i should be properly compensated!

Fight Back! Spread the Word!

they may have their “thepowerofh.com” website, but now, we have BEHOLDthepowerofSTEPHENH.com!!! bookmark that address, share it with your friends, and get the word out… updates will be seen on that site regularly until this injustice has been righted!

THIS AGGRESSION WILL NOT STAND!

UPDATE: after checking my StatPress logs here on the site, i came across the following…

THIS IS AN ACTUAL SCREENSHOT!

YOU READ THAT RIGHT!!! someone at toyota/lexus headquarters in torrance, california has seen my original post!!! and in less than 12 hours from when it was originally posted! it is now up to them to do the right thing!!!

note: stephen the h is not affiliated with the lexus company… yet. lexus is a registered trademark. this page contains content intended for your entertainment only and is not to be considered an actual slander against lexus, who for all i know makes really exceptional motor vehicles and really ought to give me one for all this hype i’m giving them.

Filed under: Links by stephen h @ 10:43 am on January 17, 2008
TAGS: [humor | lexus | Links | the power of h | Thoughts | toyota]

CHECK IT OUT: UPDATE POSTED 01/17/08 AT 10:45AM. CLICK HERE.

that’s right kids.

toyota motor company’s lexus division has stolen my name for their new campaign. the proof? well, it’s all over tv and the internet!

check it out at thepowerofh.com

IT’S ALL SO OBVIOUS… clearly the head honchos at lexus are big fans of yours truly the h and decided to start trading on my good name and popularity all for their own corporate greed. never before has the plight of the lowly artist been so blatantly exploited!!!

SO… if you or someone you know is working for either toyota or lexus, you should tell them to stop using my name. or better yet, give me a car and make me an honorary spokesman for their new line of luxury hybrid vehicles.

actually, forget that first thing. just tell them to give me a car. oh, and it should be fully loaded. and silver.

what? i never said i wouldn’t sell out.
you would too.

-s h

P.S. Use the “ShareThis” link below to email this to someone who works at Lexus or Toyota so they can remedy this injustice! Or just Digg it and send it to your friends to spread the word!

note: stephen the h is not affiliated with the lexus company… yet. lexus is a registered trademark. this page contains content intended for your entertainment only and is not to be considered an actual slander against lexus, who for all i know makes really exceptional motor vehicles and really ought to give me one for all this hype i’m giving them.

Filed under: Links by stephen h @ 10:53 pm on January 16, 2008
TAGS: [humor | lexus | Links | the power of h | Thoughts | toyota]