my snapple tea bottle cap is telling me that during the middle ages, chicken noodle soup was widely considered to be an aphrodisiac.

this didn’t make any sense to me, unless you consider their public health probably wasn’t as good back then. so, hypothetically, if i had a lot of sick women about, i could probably make them a lot fonder of me by providing them with some chicken noodle soup to lessen their suffering.

then i started thinking… what if this was still a myth in the modern world? how would this affect popular culture?

i’m sure love songs would be a lot soupier. rap songs in particular would be more interesting, hearing gangstas rap about attracting “bitches” with their exclusive soup recipe.

movies would be rated on how steamy their soup scenes are. elaine on seinfeld would rate guys on how “soup-worthy” they are. in the low-brow sophomoric humor flicks, guys would joke about sick women as being “aching for it”. women’s romance novels would describe soup-making sessions in hot details, like “as his strong hands stirred the soup, she couldn’t help but notice – his soup had more noodles than she had ever seen in a soup before…”

and so on.

-h

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